My Personal Journal: “Silent Tears”

Silent Tears is the name of my private and personal journal that I started in January 2024, at Mendota Mental Health Institution. I named it Silent Tears because I looked back on my life in prison and I never really cried about it but know that I cried on the inside, hence the name Silent Tears. I am starting this blog to help others, in any way really.

These are my qualifications: I have none. However, I am an addict, I am a compulsive gambler, I have schizoaffective disorder: bi-polar type 1, I am a convicted felon, I come from a single mom and dysfunctional family, and I am a Christian. I can ‘t leave God out of my story it is just not possible. I say I have a PhD in life.

I am starting this blog after telling the Lord, “No”, to writing a book and then months later realizing there is not enough time left to write a book. I am starting off my blog on 11/30/2024 as that is when I got a new computer and put it in digital form instead of the handwritten books I have. I started this as Silent Tears Vol. 4 (4th notebook) but I am not sure it is going to work out that way digitally. We will see how it works out. I hope to add my entries prior to 11/30/2024, but that will take some time. I hope you read and give yourself a chance to relate. It is my hope that in my suffering someone will read and realize they are not alone in thier pain.

I will leave out real names as people can get hurt if I use their real names, especially innocent people. Their names don’t matter as much as the situations and circumstances do. Thank you for understanding this.

This blog is written by Dezaray Colyer and inspired by the Holy Spirit which lives within me.

Sincerely,

Dezaray Colyer