Silent Tears-

I woke up this morning very tired and just ending a dream. In the dream I was on trial. I was on the stand and being questioned. I said nothing but the gulity verdict was assumed in the dream but not out yet. My pastor was in it and my pastor ended up flying in from Hawaii to help me. There was a part where these men were after my pastor, and he gave up his keys and went under psychiatric care and reviewed him for competency. My pastor was taken and couldn’t preach the word anymore and my pastor said, ” You really want the keys?” Then he handed him what looked like a prime video stick remote, and it was all voice activated and once activated it initiated bomb shelters, people going into hiding, and shutting down 4 stars. The last part of the dream was, I walked into a room full of all men, no women or children, and they were all standing and yelling at a TV. I was questioning if the rapture had taken place, and it had but I was left behind. In the beginning part of the dream where I was on trial, I had taken the stand, and it was up for decision if I was sent to prison again. My conviction is that if I disobey and don’t wait a year to return to work as a truckdriver I will end up in prison and no one will be able to get me out of it not even my mental health. I thought when I woke up that I had provoked the rapture by getting a truck driving job to early. I am not this powerful. I found it to be that my pride is so big that I will disobey to solve all my problems when I cannot. Obedience is required this time, not an option to do my own will. I am convicted by the Holy Spirit that I have to go through this trial with money knowing full well that I don’t have the money but that the Lord will provide. How do I get from point A to point B… trusting in the Lord with all my heart. The Lord has pulled me out of so much my whole life he can provide and get me through this too. I will owe in taxes, but they won’t come after me right away if I don’t pay so there is some hope there. I do have to pay my heat and water bill in January, but I am hoping that my mom will be able to help me with that and sell some items on Facebook. I have only $10 in my emergency fund and $5 to my name. I will sell some jeans today though. There is hope. I will be a truck driver again just not right now. A year will go by fast. I was in 1 Kings 12 this morning and king Rehoboam sought counsel and did not listen to the wise men but listened to the younger counsel and made the yoke (their suffering) on the children of Israel heavier. This is when the kingdom split in two. King Rehoboam didn’t care about what the people said or their needs. I do care and I care what people need. This blog may never get popular, but if it saves one soul or comforts one person who is in their darkest place, then having the stress of money is worth it. Money cannot save me it could make my life less painful but it won’t save me. This blog could save someone’s life or at least change it for the better. The answer is now clear, to wait a year before applying for a truck driving job and do this blog and my ministry of clothing on Facebook. I will still call the local pizza place as the Lord will provide the job for me as He said He would. I’ll end. End.