Silent Tears-

I know what I have to do now. I have to return to a 12-step program. Not like I want to, but I need to. I need the step work, the inner work. I have eyes to see my dysfunction but no solution on how to change. A 12-step program is the only way I know how to live my life. Also, my story is still being written, but how do I want it to end. How am I to inspire people if I am still getting high? I need a part-time job as well. I will try an old employer. It is in retail, and I have a retail theft now. I might not get it.

Well I can try. I could try the franchise pizza place again. Not sure but I do need more income and need to get along with people. I don’t know if I am going to do it right away or spend some time getting high. I like to think it would just take this one time to make me realize I need the help and then go for it, but…I am an addict. Do I want to get high some more? Yes. So, hmm. Undecided and working on Dezaray’s poem. It is my story in poem form. It is long, but simple. End.