Silent Tears-

I ended up having a really good day. I went to a meeting after my 1^st entry and left feeling relief and good feelings. I ended up going to 3 meetings today. That is what I have usually been doing now. I do what I can while still taking down time and time to veg out. All work and no play makes Dezaray Coo Coo. I talked with my best friend today and she is pushing her religion and beliefs on me. I think she still wants to convert me to Catholicism and that isn’t happening. I know our relationship will never be what it once was. I think it can be reconciled but it is going to be more difficult and less fun since she went Catholic. We just won’t agree on Jesus Christ anymore like we used to. I am very grateful for her and would like her in my corner, but I don’t know that she will be or can be because of her newfound religion. She only has religion to offer, and I am not called into that. I feel confident in myself today. I trust my mind more today. Even one of my new friends said how far I have come in a week. Just imagine what I could do if I could sleep through the night and if I had never used or gambled. However, I can’t change the past I can only live in this day moment to moment on this new journey. That is exactly what this is a journey. I will have never “arrived” I will always be in suspense of what comes next…good and bad. One day at a time and I can’t solve all my problems at once. Parenting myself with love, gentleness, humor, and respect. To be continued…End.